Max von Sydow heads an all star cast wandering the picturesque plateaus of northern Arizona and southern Utah for over 3 or 4 hours (depending on the version) worth of The Greatest Story Ever Told. The story refers to the story of Jesus from birth to crucifixion to resurrection, with the emphasis on His final three-year teaching mission. The film's title conjures images of hyperbole, but anyone challenging the worthiness of a sincerely presented story about Christ falls into the same basket as the infidels that slam Holocaust related films. So call me a blasphemer and a heretic. Producer/director/writer George Stevens' ultimate project simply isn't a very good film.

Not that the Biblical adaptation doesn't have its moments—the opening sequence using single light sources from candles to stars to sunrises is picturesque, the bookended stained glass likeness of von Sydow as Christ is a nice touch, the crucifixion is beautifully framed, the scenery breathtaking, and employing hambone Charlton "Moses" Heston to play John the Baptist screaming "REPENT" in the wilderness is a real coup! Even better is Heston's off screen moment just before he gets his head lopped off—"REPENT!!!" followed by a "plop."

Great fun also is to watch for all the cameos and bit parts—healed souls (or pleading for miraculous cures) include Sal Mineo, Shelly Winters, and Ed Wynn (who brings a slightly humorous Buster Keaton-like touch of humor to his blindness). Even John Wayne shows up for a day's work, playing a centurion—but you have to be on your toes to see his part. Watch near the end for a brief tribute to racial diversity, as Sidney Poitier helps bear the burden of carrying the cross.

Donald Pleasance appears as a cave dwelling hermit that Jesus encounters in the wilderness. Following the Biblical text Pleasance reveals himself as Satan, forsaking other film treatments that give the evil entity a more abstract presence. Stevens blatantly inserts Pleasance in future scenes as an obvious insertion of evil and temptation—Peter's first denial of Christ and the scruffy citizen that initially shouts out "Crucify him" to Pontius Pilate. Theatrical devices to be sure, and Stevens stages much of the film this way—at arms length to avoid humanizing the figures, but rendering the film pretty lifeless.

Poor Max von Sydow is forced to play Jesus without an imaginative script—a collage of Biblical verses spliced together to tell an essentially straightforward version of the gospels. One of the rare times that George Stevens permits von Sydow natural human talk occurs when James the Younger (Michael Anderson, Jr.) compliments him on his good name; otherwise, every utterance comes from the Bible as if Jesus speaks only in parables 24 hours a day. The film highlights the arrival of each of the disciples with Jesus simply telling them "Come with me." They then walk the desert (and the shores of Lake Powell), observing every movement and hanging onto every word like they are part of an E.F. Hutton commercial.

Von Sydow does what he can with the role to make it memorable, reprising the same hand gestures he uses in The Virgin Spring to supplicate the Almighty when praying for Lazarus, shouting appropriately when overturning the tables in the temple, and allowing a tear to form in a close-up shot. Stevens tries his darndest to tell "the greatest story ever told," but ends up crafting an overly theatrical and tepid film devoid of drama. Like a Sunday school lesson, the film faithfully presents an amalgamated version of the gospels, though purists will object to the Biblical verses and parables put into different contexts.

It's tough to fashion an acceptable film about someone as revered as Jesus, so we must give George Stevens credit for attempting his noble project, providing high production values and a huge all-star cast. Outside Scorsese's "controversial" adaptation of The Last Temptation of Christ and the rock musical Jesus Christ Superstar, reverential stories based on the gospels haven't artistically translated well. It's much easier for directors to create effective films about other spiritual leaders like Moses and Buddha. Although competent The Greatest Story Ever Told just lies flat on the screen—except for those unintentionally funny parts when Heston screams "REPENT!!!!" Stevens has no need to repent for crafting such a mundane vehicle, but audiences will need to demonstrate mercy to tolerate his efforts.